The best accessory you'll ever have for your family's vacation is a door. Not just any door, but the one separating your children's hotel room from your own.
Don't get me wrong---children are a wonder to behold. They are more of a wonder if you don't have to sleep with them. If you've ever tried staying in one hotel room there probably were traffic jams to the bathroom, nightly games of musical beds, and an Olympic-caliber obstacle course made up of two double beds, two children, a half-dozen suitcases, and approximately five stuffed animals per child.
While some families may have mastered the art of communal living, most need a buffer zone, if not for sleep then at least to get a little peace during our downtime.
For most families, the one-room squeeze is born of economics. Let's face it: two rooms at your average Ritz are going to be pricey. Happily, more and more hotels are offering multi-room setups that won't completely drain your wallet.
"That seems to be the thing families want most," an all-suite hotel that, as the name suggests, specializes in family accommodations.
Some less expensive accommodations have two-and three-bedroom suites with children's themes and bunk beds in the kids' room (divided from the rest by a curtain), a master bedroom for mom and dad, plus a living room with a sofa bed. Add that to that in-room video games, a nightly show, and even a kids' spa, and you've got a theme-park vacation where you might actually get some shuteye, and for less than you might pay for just one room at a loftier chain.
Other all-suite hotels shouldn't be overlooked just because they don't have all the bells and whistles. Sure, decor at such chains as Motel 6 may be less playful than the Holiday Inn's, but the rooms are perfectly nice---and you still get that all-important door.
Know what you're asking for: In hotel-speak, "adjoining rooms" and "connecting rooms" are not the same thing. The former refers to rooms next to each other; the latter has an actual door joining them. Also, if booking connecting rooms, make sure the arrangement can be guaranteed; many hotels only concede to put in a "request," an inconvenience if you discover only upon check in that the request cannot be met. Even if they guarantee it, call the front desk the morning of your arrival to confirm.
Ask About Deals: At low season, some hotels offer unadvertised deals such as "buy one room, get the second half off," so ask when making reservations.
Be Time Wise: Corporate hotels are often discounted on weekends, making Fridays and Saturdays a good time to visit.
Think Economy: Two rooms in a budget property often cost less than one in an ultra-deluxe haunt. True, you won't get all the luxury; but those shiny perks will lose their luster if you're looking at them through sleep-deprived eyes.
Ask Questions: A number of chains have begun incorporating family suites into their hotels. Such accommodations are often significantly cheaper than traditional luxury suites. But specify your requirements: some so-called suites have only a partition (versus a full wall) between sleeping areas; others may be no more than an L-shaped room.
Shoot for the Stars: The price difference between a one-bedroom (where mom and dad share the sofa bed in the living room while the kids lavish in the master bedroom) and a two-bedroom (where everyone gets a real bed) is often less than you might think. But you won't know unless you ask.
Families who've brought a child's pal on vacation say he or she was the best vacation accessory ever---such a boon. Still, bringing a non-family member requires more than just buying an extra ticket. That child is your responsibility, not to mention another mouth to feed. Having a guest probably also necessitates a change in accommodations since it would be impractical to pack a stranger in the same room with mom, dad, and the siblings.
So what to think about? For starters, there's the little matter of chemistry. Bringing an extra changes the balance of your brood, and how well you all get along will make or break the whole trip. A kid who grates on your nerves at home is going to be equally---if not more---irritating on vacation, especially when you're paying big bucks to get away from it all, and staying in a hotel where there's little room to take refuge. It's your vacation, too, so don't feel compelled to bring along the little monster, even if he is junior's best bud.
And, make sure he fits well with other siblings. The two pals may be in heaven, but the arrangement may make a third wheel out of little sis. Not that they need to spend all of their time as a trio. But, an exclusive twosome might actually add to your travel woes by leaving one child who is now without even a sibling to play with.
How you vacation is important, too. Are you beachcombers? Night owls? A late-sleeping kid is going to be miserable with a group that needs to be on line for Space Mountain the moment the park opens. A family that likes to go-go-go should bring someone who is similarly inclined, so be clear about your itinerary from the outset.
Homesickness:
Your trip can be infinitely more complicated if your little invited guest comes down with an acute case of homesickness. Ask if the child has been away before. Even then, there's no guarantee that he or she won't miss mom, but it's less likely to be calamitous for a veteran traveler.
Parenting Styles:
To some parents, keeping an eye on the kids means "know where they are." To others, it's a "stay together 24/7" proposition. Be specific about your expectations regarding supervision, and ask the other mom to do the same.
Financing:
If you're planning on treating, great. If not, lay out finances beforehand. Be prepared to drop some experiences if they're not in the other family's budget.
House Rules:
A traveling teen needs to respect your rules of the house. Lay them down at the outset. Your invited guest should be expected to help out, even on vacation. So, a teen who expects you to do absolutely everything should not be a welcome addition.
Medical Issues:
Be sure to bring insurance cards, and ask upfront how to handle the unlikely event of a medical emergency.
One final note:
Do yourself a favor and make the invitation to the parents before the child. There's no quicker way to make an enemy than to dangle a lure to somebody else's child before you've gotten parental approval. How popular will you be when the answer comes back, "No, I'm sorry, you can't go to Walt Disney World because we'll be going to Aunt Mildred's 87th birthday party in Pawtucket."
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